My Affair

I am having an affair!!
Yes it is the best kind
Two years of what I knew would never end
The one that wakes you in the night
Steaming over the dreaming you had this time
Wet with desire, dampened by lust
Desiring more than a sensual touch
This affair is one that is endless
Constantly following me
I fall asleep to it every night
Smile lovingly at it every morning
My secret affair got me caught up
Missing hours at work
Making me late for class
Staring helplessly at it each and every day
My affair runs deep and strong
This affair has been running its course
Reminding me that love can spring from lust
That pleasure can ignite a flaming spark
One not easily extinguished by yesterdays memories
This affair is endearing
Endearing just to me
But more than just physically
Mentally captivating
Emotionally stimulating
Its more than just an affair
We are promised,
Not a secret anymore.
But wouldn't you like to know?

Shackles

I can't quite explain the phenomena of not having the words to explain
It's eerie to be so well versed and knowleged but never knowing how to use it
Stifled by the sensitivities that surround these inequities
Bounded by the controversy hidden in this mystery
For better would just to be quiet
However, I've never been a person to be speechless
In this moment I am more than my mind can endure
My thoughts racing with the confusions still cluttering my heart
Vocabulary uttering melodies of what the uncensories were told to mute
Without my lips, my voice, my mouth I am just a shell of what rules have enforced
Too many rules telling me what I cannot do
Bonded to these rules but repeated threats of the consequence
Broken inside because I cannot cry about the wrongdoing
I have been wronged, again and again.
Did you witness the crime?
Chalked out for the public to see, but the media was not covering my story
Better yet yours, the one that begged for everyone's woes, sympathy, empathy
What a pity it must be to always being felt sorry for
Yes, I was left here cold and sore
Yearning for more than just some attention, but instead sincerity
I rather be fed the truth than be satisfied by a helpful filling of lies
Because trapped in my eyes are stories untold and unheard
Still witnessing the chase that was not following me
I am yet another victim of a foolish whim and risk taken
I cheated the system and found a way in...
But not lucky or victorious because for every cheat finds a worser sin
Greed, wanting it all, leaving nothing behind.
But yes overtime my mouth will one day speak
I will no longer be afraid to just be me.
To just live, open and free.

So I am an artist not only by word but drawing as well. The pen and pencil are my tools of poetic and aesthetic expression...it pours out of me effortlessly, creating a sonnet of the beauties that is marked by my own experiences and visual appreciation. I'm mastering my own craft little by little and will share some of my new skills and tricks I am trying to pick up....

We are New

I know what this feeling is

I remember how this works

Living in a time which almost seemed like a distant memory

It feels as though we are us again

Slowly drawing back to the beats my heart use to drum

It is true, our love has won

No more arguments

No more fights

We own our love

Overcame this plight

Destined to be greater

Dream even bigger

Reach much further

Chasing our wants through our own realities

Sealed by the passions we have grown inside

I am alive

Happy and content again

With just you and I.

Lately....

So lately while I've been off the blog world....

1. got a house with the boo and another friend
2. went back to school getting another degree and then my masters
3. had a few bomb ass dates with the mister
4. little to no fights, arguments, bickering, etc...thank u jesus! lol
5. still working my two jobs prob gonna pick up a part time too
6. pursuing a certificate in diagnostic medical sonography
7. accepting some things i cannot change and getting prepared for the new changes to come
8. living and loving life

so that was my quick update
hopefully more and better writing to follow soon :)