Only you

Abounded not wounded.
Still here, breathing and moving.
Living in a pace set comfortably some time ago.
I've placed my faith in the hands of a force I do not see,
With quavering belief I do not doubt that I will reap
The rewards of my wanting and waiting heart.
Designed within the image of yourself
I am of his rib
Richly dark in the complexion of his perfection
We're of the same thread
Weakened in the same fabric of being,
Yet strengthened in our own confidence to succeed
Though I do not know of this future I'm hopeful in its root
I see right through the worried eyes
I've pushed completely through the complexity fallen
Certain and assured I have no fear
My mind, soul, and love remains here.

Always to be faithful of what I hope for and certain of what I do not see <3

Freedom of Speech

My freedom, my speech
Is it not those freedoms that was fought for?
My words dealt with such meaning
The power of my tone
Invoked by the haunting feelings
Cannot be related or belated
Rather to be said now
Within this moment
I use of my right
My freedom of speech.
My speech is different
I hear those that hear those that hear those not like me
My whispers, my cry, memories of past troubles
I'll speak, I'll scream to whomever
Whenever I feel slighted
I used my freedom of speech to eloquently recant my daydream
The one I muffled to not be heard
I used my freedom of speech to voice a voice not yet raised
But confident and steadfast in feeling
My voice was heard
It did in fact resonate passionately
To reverberate strongly and loudly
I used my freedom of speech to speak out against the injustice I felt
When you dealt me that low blow my speech blew back
You cannot stifle this speech I've been given.
My freedom, my speech
Your freedom, your speech
All is meaningless without the listening of
Who will be there to listen as my freedom speaks?

Just when I thought I was over you...

I thought I was over you
But here you still are
Laughing, taunting, invoking me
Focusing all my energy into demeaning the meaning of who I am
I thought I had kicked this habit
Facing more than what I can comfortably control
I am not in control of my own controlling behavior
I thought I was over you
But here you never left
The addiction of being in the know
Inciting things that never were
But playfully dangling before me thoughts of pain
I am a victim to my own demise
Murdering my securities in one clean look
Mischievous tricks played in the mind
Reminding me of what was supposed to be left behind
I thought I was over you
But you crept back in
Demanding your role to play pretend
I pretended you never existed
You remained the greener side
What I should have condemned became who I am
Volatile in nature
Yet my heart you still defend
Characterizing my very innocence into guilt
Pressuring me to keep an eye to my own back
But the past is the past
Not always of my own but buried at last
I thought I was over you
But you needed to win
To make sure I was more than just a friend
More than a new year’s kiss
More than a bed to sleep
More than warm night touches
I thought you were gone
But I brought you back to life
I fooled myself in playing the wife.
I dreamed of the day I’d let you go
Living more for me, not dwelling in woes
I’ll keep existing knowing you won’t be around
I thought you were gone
But you’re still here I found.



Karma is a bitch but jealousy plays worse tricks.

Changed, I am You.

I've contemplated the meaning of you
Your scent is familiar yet strange
I've been inquisitive
I'm curious at heart
Unpredictable yet intrepidly seeking
The known yet unknown to me
Pedantic in the daunting elaborations
Of my own whimsical imagination.
You fear what I already know to be certain.
Evidenced and proven
We have flourished.
Achieved and overcome
Youthfully chasing the dream we're living
Living vicariously in our own vigilance
Endowed to my new reality
I am you.
You are familiar and strange
Just like your scent,
I'm baffled by you.
Steadfast and unshaken I cannot be released
Manipulating every opportunity to be
Everlasting within my own favor.
Cautioned but vibrantly attending to my desire
I've read verbatim your garrulous attempt to make sense
Of who you are, what you have become.
I am aware of the sincerity in your eyes
The familiarity felt within your promise
The strangeness too of the novel experience
Contingent upon my own aptitude to yield
The striking difference of your past existence
I am you.
Prudent and enthralled
I too have evolved.
Changing, developing, growing
Just like you
You are familiar
Yet strange.
You are new.
And I am you.

I am here!

I'm strong enough to endure
I've proven this before
But I am tired and sore
Can't have her take my time anymore.

I'm here.
Can't you see me?
I'm standing right here.
Yelling, screaming, begging you
To see me.
Open your eyes,
I've been standing near you all this time.
Waiting to be seen.
Waiting to grab your attention
Even when I have it,
I see you thinking.
I see you wondering
Wandering, pondering, venting.
Lementing, vehemently over thoughts of yesterday.
But here I am.
I'm your today.
Here I am.
Wanting to be your now,
During our right now.
Does she still own what I've taken?
Stolen, damn near revoked?
Yes, me.
I want to be your wandering thought,
your lasting idea.
The ringing voice in your ear.
When you sleep at night your last vision in sight,
Yes, me.
Can you see my face?
Open your eyes when you kiss me, so its my lips you know you're kissing.
My being you know you've embraced.
This is my body, my face.
Don't forget it.
This is our now.
We're living in my time.
Because, yes, I'm here.

I'm strong enough to endure,
Yes I've done it all before
I remember that feeling of being sore
And I swear I'll feel it no more.

This is our us, we are our we.

Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine how quickly hurt breeds happiness.
All in one confession everything was flipped around.
It may not be easily understood by any but makes perfect sense to me.
I was selfish and wanted everything with only having given half of my own.
I know it sounds crazy but I knew full well what lost felt like
I've been lost before, moving with no direction and nowhere to go.
I hit the same stumbling block again,
But for some reason this time I chose not to go down the same road.
This time I chose to drive on a course that meant vulnerability
An ultimate sacrifice of myself that could leave me lonely and criticized
Ostracized, judged, broken and undefended.
I chose to take the road that meant being naked
Feeling completely placed on the spot
I took the road of humility, admitting to my weakness, challenges and wrongs.
No longer masking the lies I swore never to confess.
The response to my road was a challenging one yet yielded my happiness.
It yielded the one answer I had been waiting for, for so long
It yielded the commitmenet and question I knew would inevitably lead to our bliss.
Like I said not fully comprehendable by the crowd but our us, our we, didn't mind the skepticism, because our us, our we knew better than to confide only what we knew to be true, our love.
Yes our us, and our we have been tattered and bruised.
However, our resiliency came through and proved to powerful to the failing pasts of our own past.
We became our us.
Today I am apart of our we, and I've been permanently smiling ever since.