I've been really anxious
about my future, thoughts, interests, life in general.
I know what I want.
I've always know that one truth.
Now presented with the world at my fingertips
I feel cheated in not chasing it all.
With my maxes on, I'm ready for the run.
I know I'll win in the end...
But where do I start?
Who will be the man running by my side?
It's scary to know I may make the run alone.
The man I see every day and night is not committed to this chase.
He's dreaming his own dreams
As I sleep to dream to be a part of those dreams.
Gleaming at the sight of a future with him
My reality shows great promise.
Conflicted with brain and heart.
Do I choose my love or race?
I want both but it may not be possible.
Are we moving together or moving apart?
God only knows which way we'll go.
June is coming closer and I know I wont move on apart
I can't be this torn,
When my life is on the line.
My heart is as important as my future.
I want to be fully satisfied,
To be happy and in love.
My dreams are still in the clouds
Settling down to my earth.
These visions are becoming more tangible each day.
Spoken words, interviews, introductions...
New York chasing, career chasing, love binding journey
I love you.
I know your watching...
We move in similar styles and paces
And I want this move to be together.
But I guess we shall see...
Sunday, April 22, 2012
I Dare You...
You've been on my mind
I grow fonder every day,
Lose my heart in time
Just thinking of your face
God only knows,
why it's taken me so long
To let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want.
I don't know why I'm scared,
Cause I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all.
You never know if you never try
To forgive your past and simply be mine.
I dare you to let me be,
your one and only.
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms.
So come on and give me a chance,
To prove that I'm the one who can walk that mile,
until the end starts.
I've been on your mind
You hang on every word I say
Anxiety grows over time
Just thinking of my pain
Will I ever know, how it feels to know you love
just only me?
And have you tell me 'whichever road I choose you'll go'.
I feel the pressure in walking in the shadow,
following behind old memories,
has never been that easy.
I don't know why I'm scared
Cause I've been here before
Every fear, and every tear, I remember it all.
You'll never know if you never try,
To forgive your past, and simply be mine.
I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart
So here's mine.
Pressing forward in love
Carrying truth is not a crime.
Hidden by lies you know I'll find
Burdened by my own
Ashamed over our time.
Promised to do better so,
I dare you to let be
Your one and only.
I promise I'm worthy, to hold in your arms.
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I'm the one who can
Walk that mile,
until the end starts.
Nobody's perfect.
Trust me I've learned it.
So I dare you to love me
and to be your one and only.
**contains some lyrics from Adele**
I grow fonder every day,
Lose my heart in time
Just thinking of your face
God only knows,
why it's taken me so long
To let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want.
I don't know why I'm scared,
Cause I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all.
You never know if you never try
To forgive your past and simply be mine.
I dare you to let me be,
your one and only.
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms.
So come on and give me a chance,
To prove that I'm the one who can walk that mile,
until the end starts.
I've been on your mind
You hang on every word I say
Anxiety grows over time
Just thinking of my pain
Will I ever know, how it feels to know you love
just only me?
And have you tell me 'whichever road I choose you'll go'.
I feel the pressure in walking in the shadow,
following behind old memories,
has never been that easy.
I don't know why I'm scared
Cause I've been here before
Every fear, and every tear, I remember it all.
You'll never know if you never try,
To forgive your past, and simply be mine.
I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart
So here's mine.
Pressing forward in love
Carrying truth is not a crime.
Hidden by lies you know I'll find
Burdened by my own
Ashamed over our time.
Promised to do better so,
I dare you to let be
Your one and only.
I promise I'm worthy, to hold in your arms.
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I'm the one who can
Walk that mile,
until the end starts.
Nobody's perfect.
Trust me I've learned it.
So I dare you to love me
and to be your one and only.
**contains some lyrics from Adele**
Words
The power in these worthless words
Heard yet not completed
Words used to manipulate, to divide, to deceive
Fancily spoken in such an eloquent manner
Crafted to ease the troubles of any heart
I've exposed his words to the truth
I've revealed their true intent
The motive set behind meaningless words
Aimed to comfort a worried and lonely heart
His words became my enemy
Became the dagger in my soul
Feeding only to engulf my ears in a game,
A game trapped in his desperate fears.
His fear of loss,
Fear of loneliness
Fear of honesty.
There's guilt in your words, seasoned with salt
I taste them everytime
Its bitter to my mouth because this taste was so familiar.
Caught between two better choices
Your words bullied there way to keep your stay
A stay in a place you didn't deserve
A stay in a place you spoiled
Words broken to afix only the guilt you still bear
Words only poured when you feel you've been found out
Words ascribed to mend the tear you created
Your words are not armoured with a wrench
You gave me your words but it came with no hammer
Your words showed up on the job without any screws
The job is not done, you fixed nothing.
Breaking the tear even more
We're both laying broken
These meaningless words came without purpose
Only with motives to make you better
Selfishly deceiving so you still remain victim
Caught between two better choices
These words still haunt us at night
Me with the truth
Her with false hopes
Me knowing your game
Her being played
Those words mean nothing to me
Those words are all she has left.
Your words will soon be the downfall.
Words are not meant to fix unequipped.
Your words brought these tears,
I cry myself to sleep at night
Your words made me scream
Your words drove my car at 80mph on the city street
Just to get away from your words
The infidelity in your words are just as painful
I heard you murmur your words and lost all trust
Riding on hope like the one before
Because we know better than to hold to your words
Better I know better than to believe those words
Stabbed in the back, your words turned me around
So I could witness myself being stabbed in the heart
Your words were suppose to be endeared to me
Promises left your mouth but lies crept out
If words were all I had, then I have nothing anymore.
You sure are a great actor so take this advice
Let your words be your script and act it out.
For action is all that is seen.
**written a few months ago, just completed a few days ago. Wasn't going to post it but it's old so it works out fine.
Heard yet not completed
Words used to manipulate, to divide, to deceive
Fancily spoken in such an eloquent manner
Crafted to ease the troubles of any heart
I've exposed his words to the truth
I've revealed their true intent
The motive set behind meaningless words
Aimed to comfort a worried and lonely heart
His words became my enemy
Became the dagger in my soul
Feeding only to engulf my ears in a game,
A game trapped in his desperate fears.
His fear of loss,
Fear of loneliness
Fear of honesty.
There's guilt in your words, seasoned with salt
I taste them everytime
Its bitter to my mouth because this taste was so familiar.
Caught between two better choices
Your words bullied there way to keep your stay
A stay in a place you didn't deserve
A stay in a place you spoiled
Words broken to afix only the guilt you still bear
Words only poured when you feel you've been found out
Words ascribed to mend the tear you created
Your words are not armoured with a wrench
You gave me your words but it came with no hammer
Your words showed up on the job without any screws
The job is not done, you fixed nothing.
Breaking the tear even more
We're both laying broken
These meaningless words came without purpose
Only with motives to make you better
Selfishly deceiving so you still remain victim
Caught between two better choices
These words still haunt us at night
Me with the truth
Her with false hopes
Me knowing your game
Her being played
Those words mean nothing to me
Those words are all she has left.
Your words will soon be the downfall.
Words are not meant to fix unequipped.
Your words brought these tears,
I cry myself to sleep at night
Your words made me scream
Your words drove my car at 80mph on the city street
Just to get away from your words
The infidelity in your words are just as painful
I heard you murmur your words and lost all trust
Riding on hope like the one before
Because we know better than to hold to your words
Better I know better than to believe those words
Stabbed in the back, your words turned me around
So I could witness myself being stabbed in the heart
Your words were suppose to be endeared to me
Promises left your mouth but lies crept out
If words were all I had, then I have nothing anymore.
You sure are a great actor so take this advice
Let your words be your script and act it out.
For action is all that is seen.
**written a few months ago, just completed a few days ago. Wasn't going to post it but it's old so it works out fine.
Friday, April 6, 2012
NY Chasing...
I'm running after my own vision,
what my imagination has painted for years.
All those that know me well know that New York
is more than just two words placed to together to spell
out the most culturally binding place in the U.S.
but it spells out me. I've been lost in Baltimore yearning
for my own creative mind and imagery to soar, I'm worth so much
more than my hometown can offer me. I dream in neons while I live
in the black, white and grays of Maryland. What I seek is much
brighter and vibrant than this, the dulls of this town has been
wearing me down for a while now. I love who I am and what I've
become, knowing yet more is to be done.
My family is truly number one, but to be number one you have to
know when to fold. When to sacrifice all you can to attain all that
"I" am.
I'm proud to say I know exactly what I want out of life.
I dont just dream, I live.
I aspire and acquire.
Who I want to be, is who I'm becoming.
I am my dream and New York is where it's at!
Dreaming alone is no dreaming at all,
together by his side is really where I'd love to reside.
Peacefully embraced in his loving arms,
running, chasing, and tripping over our dreams together.
Promising and not compromising our visions, futures and dreams
for the other but supportively lifting the other to make it there.
With my arm stretched out wide I'm grabbing your hand...
"I'm a movement by myself, but we're a force when we're together.
Baby I'm good all by myself, but baby you, you make it better."
New York is my color of love, singing to me in purple.
Home of legends and stars and successes.
I'm on my way to be legendary, a star of the brightest light, succeeding beyond ordinary measure!
I'm chasing my concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there's nothing I can't do...
Would it be a challenge?
It wouldn't have been a challenge
just to make you smile everyday.
It wouldn't have been a challenge
to keep you happy.
Thinking of only what joy it must bring you
to be catered to so effortlessly.
The effort placed in providing your every need.
Money never wasted, but time never replaced.
Spending every minute to satisfy the unquenched
hunger that lies in the bowels of your stomach.
Providing fulfillment in every empty minute.
It wouldn't have been a challenge to occupy
all your thoughts.
To exhaust all my breath filling your mind
with endless words, fresh ideas and luxurious
metaphors to keep your intellect stimulated.
Filling your dreams with brighter, bigger and better
obstacles, reaching at every moment something unreached.
Soaring beyond impossibilities and attacking your worries
with new assurances.
You see it wouldn't have been a challenge to be
all that you needed,
to be needed, and heeded and loved.
It wouldn't have been a challenge to be everything you wanted,
to complete in you what you have been missing.
Enchanting you with a personality so whimsical
one could not predict the moods of the next day.
Moving with your mind as one in accord,
bonding ever still to the soul of your own creativity.
Challenged to become what I've promised in this,
perplexed at how with all this good one still finds fault,
complicated and difficult to understand why everything promising must
be found in error or flawed,
intrepid and confident that all can be saved
but doubtful of this pursuasive self-assurance.
See it would not have been a challenge if I were the only one.
It could not have been challenge because I would have easily succeeded.
Cocky and arrogant still, it wouldn't have been a challenge...
if I had just known the truth.
just to make you smile everyday.
It wouldn't have been a challenge
to keep you happy.
Thinking of only what joy it must bring you
to be catered to so effortlessly.
The effort placed in providing your every need.
Money never wasted, but time never replaced.
Spending every minute to satisfy the unquenched
hunger that lies in the bowels of your stomach.
Providing fulfillment in every empty minute.
It wouldn't have been a challenge to occupy
all your thoughts.
To exhaust all my breath filling your mind
with endless words, fresh ideas and luxurious
metaphors to keep your intellect stimulated.
Filling your dreams with brighter, bigger and better
obstacles, reaching at every moment something unreached.
Soaring beyond impossibilities and attacking your worries
with new assurances.
You see it wouldn't have been a challenge to be
all that you needed,
to be needed, and heeded and loved.
It wouldn't have been a challenge to be everything you wanted,
to complete in you what you have been missing.
Enchanting you with a personality so whimsical
one could not predict the moods of the next day.
Moving with your mind as one in accord,
bonding ever still to the soul of your own creativity.
Challenged to become what I've promised in this,
perplexed at how with all this good one still finds fault,
complicated and difficult to understand why everything promising must
be found in error or flawed,
intrepid and confident that all can be saved
but doubtful of this pursuasive self-assurance.
See it would not have been a challenge if I were the only one.
It could not have been challenge because I would have easily succeeded.
Cocky and arrogant still, it wouldn't have been a challenge...
if I had just known the truth.
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