What to do?

Have you ever felt like you have everything found out
Like as though, you were the last to know
But now know more than you knew before?
As though your clairvoyance voyaged you to the inevitable?
Typically ending in the most atypical way
Generally beginning with the generic play
Beyond what could have been predicted
But yet forseen consquences seen and acted
With actions stifling the partnered emotions
You are left speechless.
I knew everything
But never was enough.
I got everything figured out
All except for myself.

Dues

Have I not been here long enough
Paying my dues
Been trident and true
But still so much more that I've been through
Slowly eliminating my inhibitions
A love in submission,
In this position to possibly
Losing a piece of me
To sacrifice for a greater WE.
We, he, I...working towards something heavenly
I have been drained of this energy
Made into a pawn of what my love
Consequently produced, a meek partner
Quietly conceding to your actions
Adulterous motives, hidden in your speech
Breaking what was suppose to be a stronger I
In my eyes I see the deterioration of my I
My life, my integrity, my dignity
Falling into the fragments of what our WE
Was initially suppose to be.
I discovered your lies
Written over and over,
And not to just I, to her, to she, but
Most importantly, me!
This me was meant to be protected
Sacred, respected
Never neglected, tarnished or hurt
Diminished to just the side of your affections
Just the leftovers of your passion
Wasted time on what you wanted more
Here I was still standing faithfully
Abiding to the rules of this partnership
Regarded but never genuinely cared
I still wonder what more I can do
To produce in you
That sweet thought of me
That innocence of just our WE, but
Have I not been here long enough?

Unspoken

Voice shattered
Thoughts scattered
Of words left unspoken.
In my most intimate of times
I wished for the courage
To tell you everything I've ever felt.
Where does strength lie in such a big heart?
Cluttered by my own disasterous intentions
Afraid of what may still be your response.
All these words left unsaid
Linger in between the space in which
I let silence mellow.
In my quiet I hope you notice
Just what my heart truly desires to say.
All these muttered words just sitting in my hand
It is better to have said it all
Then to say nothing at all
Yet my reserve keeps my passions preserved
And still I've never uttered a word
Because maybe you would not know what to do with them.
Maybe these muted words are better left in my mind
Safely concealed for a more appropriate time
A time where I intrepidly speak with integrity
Just to tell you all I should have said before.
How nothing truly ever mattered more
And that I will be patiently and faithfully waiting
In this tested storm,
Until my unspoken words have the power to create our calm.