Just when I thought I was over you...

I thought I was over you
But here you still are
Laughing, taunting, invoking me
Focusing all my energy into demeaning the meaning of who I am
I thought I had kicked this habit
Facing more than what I can comfortably control
I am not in control of my own controlling behavior
I thought I was over you
But here you never left
The addiction of being in the know
Inciting things that never were
But playfully dangling before me thoughts of pain
I am a victim to my own demise
Murdering my securities in one clean look
Mischievous tricks played in the mind
Reminding me of what was supposed to be left behind
I thought I was over you
But you crept back in
Demanding your role to play pretend
I pretended you never existed
You remained the greener side
What I should have condemned became who I am
Volatile in nature
Yet my heart you still defend
Characterizing my very innocence into guilt
Pressuring me to keep an eye to my own back
But the past is the past
Not always of my own but buried at last
I thought I was over you
But you needed to win
To make sure I was more than just a friend
More than a new year’s kiss
More than a bed to sleep
More than warm night touches
I thought you were gone
But I brought you back to life
I fooled myself in playing the wife.
I dreamed of the day I’d let you go
Living more for me, not dwelling in woes
I’ll keep existing knowing you won’t be around
I thought you were gone
But you’re still here I found.



Karma is a bitch but jealousy plays worse tricks.