Consciously contemplating my thought and where it started
Considering now more than ever how I got here
Carefully meditating on thoughts that have served me well before
Concerned that my own concerns hold no weight
Cautioned because the vulnerability already surrendered cannot be returned
Catering only to my own imagination
Callously stealing away the joy I felt I too deserved
Cynical to true reform, molding my mind to only accept the face of what I see.
Corrupted by past stigmas of what identity befallen
Cooperating to keep from shattering
Creating my space of peace, dealing in places where I know I'm safe.
Cold shoulders and hearts lay bear delivering harsh tones
Capturing in myself the innocence thrown away
Calculating how to escape the nightmare of drained fears
Capitalizing on the happiness that keeps the heart fonder yet still,
Contriving a solution for longer smiles
Capable of being every thing and nothing, more hope and faith leading me on
Comparable to that that still lingers and hinders
Coy but asserting those hushed feelings of before
Creeping to an inevitable end, for better or for worse
Captivating each day with a better memory.
Cloudy the sky but posing no threat,
Composing a way to trust and have trust earned
Carrying on for this is the only way I know.
Compromising not my value or self, but flaws and weaknesses
Completely fallen to love but smart in decision
Not my mistake, not by accident...you are my CHOICE.
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